This is a site for men that live like Al Bundy

Women, you can't live with em and it's illegal to shoot them. Al Bundy from Married With Children.

Dad had one great dream, a dream that had been handed down from generation to generation of male Bundys. To build their own room and live separately from their wives. Sadly, they all failed.

You know what I would do if I was President? I'd take a big empty state, that nobody's using, y'know, like Idaho, and I'd pack every pregnant woman in the country into donut trucks, and convoy 'em all to Boise. And since Idaho means nothing anyhow, I'd change the name to Preg-naho.

Son, let this be a lesson to you. Never do tequila shooters within a country mile of a marriage chapel.

"So you think I'm a loser? Just because I have a stinking job that I hate, a family that doesn't respect me, a whole city that curses the day I was born? Well, that may mean loser to you, but let me tell you something. Every morning when I wake up, I know it's not going to get any better until I go back to sleep again. So I get up, have my watered down Tang and still-frozen Pop Tart, get in my car with no upholstery, no gas and six more payments to fight traffic just for the privilege of putting cheap shoes on the cloven hooves of people like you. I'll never play football like I thought I would, I'll never know the touch of a beautiful woman, and I'll never again know the joy of driving without a bag on my head. But I'm not a loser. 'Cause despite it all, me and every other guy who'll never be what he wanted to be, are still out there, being what we don't wanna be, forty hours a week, for life. And the fact that I haven't put a gun to my mouth, you pudding of a woman, makes me a winner!"

I'm not paying for mistakes. I've been doing that since I got married.

I had a dream last night. A big red haired mosquito in tight pants was hovering over me sucking money out of my wallet.

I'm jealous of everyone not married to you.

We all have to live with our disappointments... I have to sleep with mine.

Life didn't pass me by, it sat on my head.

Love is not only blind but stupid.

Peg, when you married me, was it pre-meditated or a drive-by marriage.

Milwaukee. That's the town they build around you mother isn't it, Peg?

I'm the only guy in the world who has to wake up to have a nightmare.

Pretty good for a guy stupid enough to marry you, huh ?

If I could just help one kid not marry, my job is done.

Behind every successful man is a woman who didn't marry me.

Christmas is not the time for regrets. That's what anniversaries are for.

A man is a man all his life. A woman is only sexy until she becomes your wife.

Insurance is like marriage. You pay and pay but you never get anything back.

That's what being a man is like: making mistakes and not caring.